Don’t want a woman house cleaner? Not all women are mean. Some women are cruel, and that’s a shame. But most are just there to clean. If you don’t want a woman house cleaner there are male house cleaners too. Angela Brown, The House Cleaning Guru says social anxiety or autism are good reasons you don’t want a woman house cleaner.
But a friend with the know like trust factor could help you navigate a walkthrough. Interview a house cleaner and then leave when the house cleaner comes to clean. They will get your business and you will get a clean house.
Listen: I Don’t Want a Woman House Cleaner
Watch: I Don’t Want a Woman House Cleaner
Hey there, I’m Angela Brown, and this is Ask a House Cleaner. This is a show where you get to ask a house cleaning question, and I get to help you find an answer. You can find this and 400 other answered questions in this series on our YouTube channel.
I Don’t Want a Woman House Cleaner
I don’t want a woman to clean my house, I only want a man. Is it possible to ask for only a male house cleaner?
Hello. I saw this when looking for a cleaning service. Women not wanting a male house cleaner because they feel unsafe. I am a man and don’t want a woman house cleaner because I don’t feel safe.
Women are crazy and dangerous. And that they don’t understand weird autistic men. That’s me.
I’m also agoraphobic. And women don’t treat me right. And when women are in authority, oh yeah…
Lead With Your Strengths
All right, that is an excellent point. I want to honor this by breaking it down into a couple of different facets.
I would like to honor the fact that you have autism. I would also like to suggest moving forward that you not lead with that. If you call up a company, and you lead with that, that’s going to scare a lot of people. It’s an odd statement to say right up front, right?
So, let’s recognize the fact that everybody has insecurities. There are communication insecurities. Also, there are social issues and other things that come with different levels of autism. So, I want to honor the fact that you have autism. I don’t want to defame that in any way, but we don’t need to tell that to people. We don’t need to come out and say that you have autism. It’s just not important, right?
There are lots of things people have going on in their lives that they don’t need to share. That’s one of them.
Anxiety and Don’t Want a Woman House Cleaner
In addition to autism and anxiety, you mentioned you also have agoraphobia. Agoraphobia is anxiety for unknown social interactions like the one you might have when a house cleaner comes. You may get stressed or be unsure when they come to your house. Because you don’t know what’s going to happen next. That’s normal.
House Cleaners and Homeowners Want the Same Thing
When the house cleaner comes to your house to do a walkthrough. Whether it’s male or female, they don’t know what is going to happen next either. But the good news is this, you both want the same things. You want your house cleaned. They want to clean your house and you want a business transaction to happen. You both want to do that in a safe environment.
Keep It Simple if You Don’t Want a Woman House Cleaner
So, you both want the exact same things as far as working together goes. That’s what you need to lead with. So, when you’re asking for a house cleaner, it is possible that you could ask for a male house cleaner. You don’t have to go into any details, and you don’t have to explain why. No one needs to know what your private reasons are.
It’s Okay if You Don’t Want a Woman House Cleaner
What you do is call the house cleaning company and you say, “Hey, I would prefer having a man come clean my house. Is that possible?” That’s it. You don’t have to go into any other details.
Not All Female House Cleaners Are the Same
Now that we’ve covered that, I can tell something has happened. I don’t know what, but I suggest not generalizing all women as being hateful and mean. That would be silly, right? That’d be like saying all men are that way.
Well, all men are not that way, and they’re not all dangerous. But there are women that have had bad situations with men. There are men that have had bad situations with women. That’s kind of common knowledge, right? So, what we want to do is we want to find the perfect person to clean your house. Now we want to be open to the fact that it might be a woman, or it might be a man.
Don’t Want a Woman House Cleaner? Run Errands.
What we do know is this, you don’t want to be there when the person comes for all the reasons that you mentioned. And that’s okay because most house cleaners don’t want you there anyway. They want to come and do their job, get their money and go home. you don’t even have to be there when the house cleaner comes to clean.
So, you can make an arrangement that they come to clean your house on a certain day at a certain time. On that day at a certain time, you leave. Go run your errands, and you do your grocery shopping. When you come home, your house will be clean and tidy, and they will be gone. So, you don’t even have any interaction with them whatsoever. That way you’re safe, they’re safe, there’s no question, there’s no interaction. You don’t have to answer their questions, there’s no chitchatting or any of those things.
Be Present for the Walk Through
Having said that, you do need to be present when there’s a walkthrough of your house. I say you need to be present, but you don’t actually have to be in charge. I recommend that you have another person that you know and trust to be present when they do the walkthrough.
Invite someone that you’re comfortable with. And so, what this means is maybe have a mother or a father or a sibling or neighbor, or church friend come.
I would recommend that you go on a walkthrough of your house with them and tell them what is important to you first. So, when the person comes from the house cleaning company to walk through your house, your selected person can be the moderator.
You Have to Know, Like & Trust Your House Cleaner
You don’t have to say anything at all, right? You’re just there getting a feeling and a sense of the person that’s going to be in your home.
Now it’s important that you do this. Because this person, if they work out for you, will be a long-term relationship. They’re going to be cleaning your house every week or every other week. So, you want someone in your house that you like and trust. That’s important.
It’s also important for the house cleaner coming into your house to know, like, and trust you. And so, it’s helpful if you are there on the walkthrough, right?
Communicate with Your Moderator
Now, you might want to have a codeword. The codeword is something you say if you’re uncomfortable with what’s happening. The codeword is only known to the sibling or the church friend that’s at your house as the moderator.
So, for example, let’s say your codeword is sandwich. When you are on the walkthrough, and you feel weird or uncomfortable about what’s happening, you use it. You could say, “Excuse me, I’m going to go make a sandwich.”
And that is a codeword to the person that’s moderating the walkthrough. This means the person assisting you shuts the whole thing down. The house cleaner is not the right person for you.
That way you’re always safe, there are no surprises. You don’t have to say anything that would cause someone to be unkind to you or to misunderstand you. You just want to be aware that how you come off to other people may not be your strong suit. Okay? That’s fine. Nobody has to be charming and charismatic and all these things.
All you have to do is be present when the other person walks through your house with the person that you trust. And that person, with your instructions, can walk through with you and take charge. They can say, “This is important that we get this clean. This tub has a little bit of standing water, we want to make sure that we get all that out so that mold doesn’t build up.”
They can handle whatever the highlights of your home are. And this person can explain everything to the house cleaner that comes. It won’t matter if they are male or female.
House Cleaners Work Well with All Kinds of People
In my experience, a lot of house cleaners out there have worked with people with all different personalities. They are kind and compassionate and they are able to navigate those kinds of situations. So just trust in yourself and know that you are whole, you are good enough. And if you need a house cleaner and you have the ability to pay for a house cleaner, that’s all that needs to happen.
You just need to make the agreement and then partner with someone that you know and trust. A sibling or friend can help you on that initial walkthrough.
From that point, have the payment ready. When they come to clean your house, don’t interfere with their process. Don’t be there and be sure you haven’t blocked the driveway, so they can get in and out.
Let Your House Cleaners Do Their Job
Just let them come do their job. You go off and run your errands. When it’s time, you come home and everyone wins. You do deserve a clean house. Just because you’ve had a bad experience with women doesn’t mean a house cleaner can’t come clean. If you need a house cleaner, I would lead with the fact that you need a house cleaner. If you are comfortable with a man, say, “I prefer a man to come to clean my house.”
Men Clean Houses Too
The good news is this, there are lots of men who clean houses. In a diplomatic way, the company owner can say, “Hey, I’ve got a job.” Then they can dispatch one of the men that work for the company. It’s that simple. Nobody ever has to know if you have an issue with women, you can keep it quiet and keep it to yourself.
As I say, nobody needs to know, but if you need a house cleaner, it’s possible to get one. It’s also possible to do it without making you uncomfortable. All right, I hope that helps just a little bit. And until we meet again, leave the world a cleaner place than when you found it.
Resources to Help
Intuition on Demand: A step-by-step guide to powerful intuition you can trust
Thriving with Social Anxiety: Daily Strategies for Overcoming Anxiety and Building Self-Confidence
The Anxiety and Worry Workbook: The Cognitive Behavioral Solution
The Shyness and Social Anxiety Workbook: Proven, Step-by-Step Techniques for Overcoming Your Fear
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